Poems, Headaches, and Mjolnir
This is one of my most favoritest poems ever. If you can’t tell, I prefer poetry that speaks about something solid. Especially funny poetry.
I’ve Got An Incredible Headache
by Jack Prelutsky
I’ve got an incredible headache,
my temples are throbbing with pain,
it feels like a freight train with two locomotives
is chugging about in my brain.
I’m sure I can’t stand it much longer,
my skull’s being squeezed in a vise,
as regiments march to the blaring of trumpets,
and thousands of tap-dancing mice.
My head’s filled with horrible noises,
there’s a man mashing melons inside,
someone keeps drumming on bongos and plumbing,
as porpoises thrash in the tide.
An elephant herd is stampeding,
a volcano is blowing its top,
and if I keep hitting my head with this hammer,
I doubt that my headache will stop.
So often in life we do this. Not literally. But a lot of times we keep doing things to ourselves that just cause us more and more pain. Whether it’s a sin or a bad habit or something else, all of us do things that harm us. I have some. If you think really hard, I’m sure you’ve got at least one, too.
So, for crying out loud, put down Mjolnir and give your poor head a break!
“We belong to a generation that has lost its way.”
Walter Lippmann may have said this during the Depression, but it is still true today. Now more than ever.
You are not defined by the numbers.
You are not defined by the numbers on your report card.
You are not defined by the numbers on your jeans.
You are not defined by the numbers in your bank account.
You are not defined by the numbers on social media.
You are not defined by the number of years you’ve lived.
You cannot be defined… except by God.
Steal My Show
Let’s Argue… Or Not
In case you don’t know, this doesn’t work. Arguing won’t change someone’s mind. And you probably don’t want to find that out the hard way. Arguments, especially about religion, tend to only create conflict and hard feelings. And face it. If everyone is like me, no amount of arguing will change their minds. And if you prove that you’re right? People will avoid admitting that they’re wrong if they can.
If someone is wrong about something biblical, and it’s something dangerous, you should confront them about it gently and avoid an argument if you can. Remember to do this out of love, not so-called “superiority”.
And, just for laughs…
The Grass Withers
The Things You Can’t Control
You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sail.
–Funny Church Signs Calender