1. I enjoyed this story! It was entertaining and kept me involved. The only thing I would say is maybe develop the relationship with Eric and Jeremiah as boys more. Keep in mind it’s great as-is, but I think that would make the reader even more interested and more devastated at Jeremiah’s death; more able to feel Eric’s sorrow, if you know what I’m trying to say. But I loved loved loved loved loved it as it is. Great job!! 😀


    1. Thanks! I wanted to add another scene with them as kids, but I was totally stuck for an idea, so I skipped it and moved on to the rest of the story. I’ll probably work on that. Thanks for the feedback! 🙂


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